Are you are filing for a divorce that’s an uncontested divorce?
You want to use irreconcilable differences as your grounds for divorce.
When you get done reading this blog, you’ll know:
- what the meaning of irreconcilable differences is
- which irreconcilable difference is right for you
So, let’s dig into irreconcilable differences.
How do divorce laws define irreconcilable?
The legal irreconcilable definition states that:
“each party has points of view that are so different from each other that they cannot be made compatible.”
Since that irreconcilable definition doesn’t really enlighten us, let’s define irreconcilable differences situationally.
How To Define Irreconcilable
As divorce lawyers, we would define irreconcilable differences as:
“the marriage is irretrievably broken and there is no hope of working out the couple’s differences.”
Now that we have gone over the irreconcilable meaning, let’s talk about how it affects the divorce process.
Divorcing with Irreconcilable Differences
A lot of our clients have uncontested divorces.
When they file for divorce, they describe their grounds for divorce as irreconcilable differences.
Irreconcilable meaning a no-fault divorce.
They basically are telling the courts that neither party is at fault.
Neither party did anything wrong.
What Happens If You Don’t File With Irreconcilable Differences
What if your grounds for divorce are not irreconcilable differences?
This would mean that you are filing a fault divorce.
This can lead to a contested divorce.
When there is a fault, there is potential that one person can get better outcomes.
For example, let’s say the husband was a stay at home dad and cheated on the wife.
The husband is at fault.
If the wife can prove that the husband was cheating, then she may not have to pay alimony to the husband.
If no party is at fault, then we turn to irreconcilable differences.
The 5 Irreconcilable Differences
There are 5 main irreconcilable differences that we use all the time with our clients.
Couples, a lot of times, get divorced because they cannot work out their issues.
And they know that this can keep them from having a healthy marriage.
But that doesn’t mean that either party did anything wrong.
Sometimes these things can just break down the marriage over time:
- money habits
When this is the can, you’re working with irreconcilable differences.
Now that we have discussed irreconcilable differences, it’s talk about examples of irreconcilable differences.
Examples of Irreconcilable Differences
Here are quick links to the examples of irreconcilable differences listed below.
Either click on one of the links or keep scrolling to start at the top.
1. Money and Divorce
One of the biggest irreconcilable differences that we see is about money.
Couples tend to disagree about money and have serious conflicts about:
- accumulating debt
- investing money
- spending too much money
- wasting money
- money management
Some major issues about money that couples fight about are:
- is the money “ours” or is it separate?
- debts like credit cards, car loans, mortgages, gambling, etc
- fairness in decisionmaking when one person outearns the other
- financial decisions of having children or not
- spender vs saver personalities
Money is a sticky topic.
Everyone grows up with different life experiences around money.
Most of the time, couples do not agree on how to handle money.
This is why money is the number one reason for divorce.
The next irreconcilable differences are differences in religion.
2. Religion and Divorce
When you get married, your religious views usually align enough to get by.
But as we progress in age, our religious views can become stronger.
Some people get a divorce because religious views make marriage alignment hard.
Usually, this happens when it comes to how to raise the children.
Neither party is ‘at fault,’ which is why this is one of the irreconcilable differences.
3. The Dreadful In-Laws
If you get along with your in-laws, you most likely will have a pretty long marriage.
A persons’ chances of having a strong marriage increases by 20% if they get along with the in-laws.
Getting a divorce due to in-laws is a pretty common irreconcilable differences.
Lack of communication is the fourth of the irreconcilable differences.
4. Lack of Communication
Look, I know I said that money was the number one reason for divorce.
But it depends on the source.
According to Your Tango’s survey, lack of communication is the top reason for divorce.
Lack of communication is tough.
Communication is the backbone of any marriage.
Telling your spouse how you feel.
What you need help with.
How you want to do things.
If you want to be happy, you and your spouse need to be on the same page.
Communication should be a priority in your marriage.
Most couples, even happily married ones, still struggle with communication.
If this is you, you’re not alone.
But just be aware that an extreme lack of communication can lead to divorce.
5. Parenting Styles
How we were raised REALLY affects how we parent our children.
Maybe we are avoiding doing things that we didn’t like that our parents did.
Or we are doing things they should have done better.
Either way, you and your spouse were raised completely differently.
When two parents disagree on how to raise the children, they can get a divorce due to irreconcilable differences.
Parents may disagree on:
- how to discipline children
- planning for their future
- how to parent the kids
A lot of times, all the irreconcilable differences surround the children.
Judgy mother-in-laws can be a pain in the butt to deal with.
Communication between clashing parenting styles falls apart.
And money can get spent where one parent doesn’t want it to be spent.
This may not be the most common irreconcilable differences.
But it’s definitely the most complex one to deal with for couples.
And that wraps up our examples of irreconcilable differences.
Over to You
If you are divorcing with irreconcilable differences, fill out the form below.
We provide everyone with a 30 minute, free divorce consultation.
Let’s see if your situation a good fit for our team.