Is it normal for my boyfriend to hit me?
In this article, we’re covering:
… And much more.
So, let’s dig in.
If your boyfriend hits you, this is domestic violence.
Your options if your boyfriend hits you are:
Domestic violence deteriorates your mental health.
You should leave the relationship before it turns into domestic abuse.
Take a hard look at your relationship.
It’s tough for a victim of abuse to leave an abusive relationship.
Ask a family member for an honest assessment or seek professional help.
See if your family members have noticed:
The most important thing is to be receptive to the feedback.
Your family members and friends love you and want you safe and happy.
If they are giving you negative feedback, set your ego aside and digest it.
When your boyfriend hits you, he is breaking the law.
He needs to seek professional help to work through anger management.
But, even when your boyfriend hits you for the first time, you should be wary.
His “healthy way” to deal with his anger issues is to hit women.
Most likely, you will let the first time slide.
But, if your boyfriend hits you more than once, you should either:
He will get charged with simple battery.
There are two reasons that your boyfriend hits you:
It can be tough to distinguish between the two.
Especially if you’re a victim of physical abuse and emotional abuse.
Your boyfriend hitting you is not normal if it’s intended to harm you.
Your boyfriend hitting you is intended to harm you if he hits you during arguments.
Outside of arguments, his using you as a punching bag is also domestic violence.
“Without intent to harm” is when you are both happy, flirting, and joking around.
For you to hit a boy and it NOT be legal, you have to:
Hitting a guy in self-defense only applies when harm is imminent.
This means that the boy is using physical violence and attacking you.
You can legally be in “imminent danger” if a guy is hitting you.
Whatever you do, be a reasonable person in this scenario.
Do not resort to violent crimes when hitting a guy in self-defense.
Yes, a woman can hit a man if he hits her first.
“Use of force” (hitting someone) gets excused if it’s in self-defense.
Some states have “stand your ground” laws.
They allow you to use a necessary level of force to “remove the threat.”
Yes, if a guy hits you, you can hit him back.
But, you have to use a proportional amount of force.
Let’s say your boyfriend slaps you.
You can’t use a frying pan to knock him out when you hit him back.
If a guy hits you, you can only use an equal amount of force to hit him back.
Note that when a girl hits a guy back, it’s still assault.
But “fighting back” can get considered as self-defense.
Meaning your assault charges can get dropped.
Self-defense laws for a woman hitting a man are complicated.
You have to be able to prove that you used reasonable force to stop the threat.
And, if you cause serious injury, you may get charged with aggravated assault.
When you escalate the force, you become the aggressor.
Let’s say that a guy slaps you.
And that you retaliate, punch him, and break his nose.
The guy hitting you was a simple battery.
But you escalated the amount of force used.
So, with the force that you used, that could get categorized as either:
You’ll need to seek legal advice from a criminal defense lawyer.
Self-defense is the right to prevent suffering force or violence.
It gives you the right to “remove an imminent threat.”
The self-defense laws allow you to counteract with equal force or violence.
But self-defense laws and cases are very complicated.
Each jurisdiction (state) has its own set of criminal laws on how to handle self-defense.
You should seek criminal law legal advice from a lawyer on how to handle:
No, it is not illegal to hit a guy in self-defense.
Let’s note how self-defense works.
Let’s say your boyfriend hits you and you hit him back.
You both will get assault and battery charges from law enforcement.
And you will both have to show up to court.
But, if you hit your boyfriend in self-defense, the courts will drop your criminal charges.
And only your boyfriend will have assault and battery criminal charges.
But, it’s only considered self-defense if danger was imminent.
“Danger” is not the guy verbally provoking you.
“Danger” is when your boyfriend attacks you.
You can hit your boyfriend in self-defense if you use a reasonable amount of force.
“Reasonable” means an equal level of force that you were hit with in the first place.
Defending yourself allows you to potentially avoid criminal liability from your use of force.
“Potentially” because it depends on the scenario.
You HAVE to have:
In law, your boyfriend hitting you is a simple battery.
Simple battery is “offensive” physical contact, such as your boyfriend:
Some examples are your boyfriend hitting you or shoving you during an argument.
For punching someone to be battery, it has to be intentional.
(i.e., if you and your buddies are sparring, this is not criminal.)
Your actions become battery (not simple) when you’re intentionally causing:
Assault and battery are two separate criminal charges.
Assault does not have to include physical contact.
Assault is when an act MAY inflict physical harm to someone else.
Battery has to involve physical contact.
Battery is when an act DOES inflict physical harm to someone else.
The criminal charges for assault are:
The criminal charges for battery are:
Yes, your boyfriend hitting you is against the law.
If your boyfriend hits you, he will get a battery criminal charge.
These are the most common, related questions we get about this topic.
No, punching a man in the face is not a felony.
Punching a man in the face is a simple battery charge.
You will get a misdemeanor for punching a man in the face.
Your boyfriend pushing you is battery.
Your boyfriend pushing you is against the law.
If your boyfriend pushes you, he will get a battery criminal charge.
Yes, if your boyfriend hits you, you can hit him back.
But it is not recommended because you will still get charged with simple battery.
If you are hitting your boyfriend back in self-defense, you will still get charged.
But, if you can prove it was self-defense, the charges will be dropped.
If you punched your boyfriend in the face, you could face criminal charges.
It’s best to reach out to a criminal defense attorney if:
No, when your boyfriend yells at you, you cannot hit him.
You are the aggressor if you hit your boyfriend for yelling at you.
And you will face criminal charges that cannot get dropped with “self-defense.”
Verbal assault (yelling) is not a physical threat to your safety.
Self-defense is only allowed if you are “removing an imminent threat.”
“Imminent threat” means that you are in danger of getting harmed.
Verbal assault does not put you in danger.
You should only hit your boyfriend if he hits you first as a last resort in self-defense.
You should reach out to a criminal defense attorney if you have hit your boyfriend.
Even if it was in self-defense, you will still get criminal charges and a criminal record.
A good criminal defense law firm can get your charges dropped if it’s self-defense.